Jokes

[Pacemeyer]

George bush walks up to God one day and asks when the oil crisis will be sorted out and God siad:
"In about 40 to 50 years." And George Bush said that he won't be around for that long.
An Isreli walked up to God and sked him when there will be peace in the middle east and God said:
"In about 60 to 70 years." The Isreli said that he won't be around for that long.
Tony Blair walked up to God and asked him when the problems with the NHS, the assylum system and the police force will be sorted out. And God said:
"I wont be around for that long."

[tommy060289]

SAE, I think your sig should read xblx rarly sucks ass(games like xtream vert make up the bad part) and SAE sucks ass.

Just about everyones two pence.

By the way I like Xbox best but I also have a PS2 and im not interested at all in the GC

[SAE]

why dose every body hate me?

[Darksun]

Hey Tommy, ltns

And SAE, everyone hates you because your annoying and refuse to accept anyone elses point of view

[SAE]

Quote: from Darksun on 9:44 am on Aug. 6, 2003[br]Hey Tommy, ltns...

... refuse to accept anyone elses point of view

when?

(Edited by SAE at 10:17 am on Aug. 6, 2003)

[tommy060289]

your going round sayin xbox sucks ass and the PS2 is the best, you have been brainwashed by Sony just as a lot of the PS2 fans have. I own both the Xbox and PS2 and I have to say the xbox wins hands down, but that does not meen I do not like the PS2 but latly there has been a lack of games that attract me to the PS2 while on xbox there has been Steel Battalion, Return to castle wolfenstein and Phantasy Star Online to name a few but what makes the xbox the best console is xbox LIVE, by the time SONY online came out microsoft already had the online market in its grasp and I fail to see how the PS2 will get the online part of it. The only game that has atrracted me to PS2 latly is SOCOM: navy SEALS as I would say that the Grand theft Auto series is highly over rated.

And that lady's and gentle is how you make an expression of your faverite console. Not by going round saying:

'woooo, xbox sucks ass and is better cos I say so cos my name is SAE and I like to bum SONY cos i've bin brainwashed'

[SAE]

Quote: from tommy060289 on 10:49 am on Aug. 6, 2003[br]your going round sayin xbox sucks ass and the PS2 is the best, you have been brainwashed by Sony just as a lot of the PS2 fans have. I own both the Xbox and PS2 and I have to say the xbox wins hands down, but that does not meen I do not like the PS2 but latly there has been a lack of games that attract me to the PS2 while on xbox there has been Steel Battalion, Return to castle wolfenstein and Phantasy Star Online to name a few but what makes the xbox the best console is xbox LIVE, by the time SONY online came out microsoft already had the online market in its grasp and I fail to see how the PS2 will get the online part of it. The only game that has atrracted me to PS2 latly is SOCOM: navy SEALS as I would say that the Grand theft Auto series is highly over rated.

And that lady's and gentle is how you make an expression of your faverite console. Not by going round saying:

'woooo, xbox sucks ass and is better cos I say so cos my name is SAE and I like to bum SONY cos i've bin brainwashed'

I HAD ENOUGH

will this sig make EVERYONE HAPPY?

[SAE]

WILL IT?

[tommy060289]

yes thats fine, make no sense but still fine.

[Pacemeyer]

"Why have you been telling everyone i'm an idiot?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret."

"This match won't light!"
"That's funny it did this morning."

"Do you have any invisible ink?"
"Yes sir, What colour?"

"Have you ever seen a duchess?"
"Yes - It's the same as an English "S"."

What cheese is made backwards?
Edam

What did one abominable snowman say to the other?
"I just don't beleive in people."

"I wan't a hair cut please."
"Certainly, which one?"

"You where a long time puttin the salt in the salt-cellar."
"Well, you can't get much in at a time through those little holes in the top."

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
"I want to hald your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.

There are three types of people in this world, those who can count and those who can't.

Did you know, five out of three people can't handle their fractions?

Whats is a boomerang called when it doesn't fly?
A stick.

Why can't dogs and cats dance?
They have 2 left feet.

Whats the difference between a post box and a wooly mammoth?
Don't know? I'll never ask you to post a letter.

Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.

What where the gangster's last words?
Who put this violin in my violin case?

"Doctor, doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me!"
"Next please!"

At the docotors office:

<Knock> <Knock> <Knock>
"Come in."

<Knock> <Knock> <Knock> (Even louder)
"Come in"

<Knock> <Knock> <Knock> (Even more louder)
"COME IN!"

A man walks in and sits on the chair. He sais good morining.
The docotor then says:
"Ah! You must be the man I fitted with th new miniature hearing aid."

The man sais "Good morning"

The doctor: "That'll be 250 pounds."

The man: "Get stuffed."

(That one was done by Morcombe and Wise. So it was a lot more funny on the telly).

-----------------------------------------------------

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the ocean?

Bob.


What do you call that same guy in the middle of the road?

Unlucky!


(Edited by Pacemeyer at 2:13 pm on Aug. 6, 2003)

[Phydaux]

heh, I like the last one.

Edit: Hey what happend to it?

(Edited by Phydaux at 2:36 pm on Aug. 6, 2003)

[Pacemeyer]

I just found a few more jokes after I posted it.

[ODDin]

The joke about "I won't be around for that long" exists on page 29, in my post, but in a bit differnt way.

I, myself, read the whole thread before posting anything, even though I had jokes in mind, and even though it took me 2 days to finish the whole thread.

[Ghostalker]

Quote: from SAE on 9:42 am on Aug. 6, 2003[br]why dose every body hate me?

Well
1) You come in and act like you own the forums, having only been here since July this year.
2) You act like a 11 year old with nothing better to do than go around and say everything's gay
3) In one of your first posts you blatently say you hate PB because he closed one of your topics (Which has been done to a lot of people, but they didn't think (correctly) that saying "PB is a twat" would gain them any favors) and that you never got your answer before the thread closed, which you did.  In case you are still a blind moron (VERY likely) the GIT was the Guild of Interesting Timewasters.


Hope that helps

[Lexxicon]

I dont know if this is appropriate if it isnt i'll take it out. Or if i made a repeat.

A man walks into the Dockter's office and asks to get his prostate checked. 5 minutes later the dockter gives him a clean bill of health. Then the man says stick a different one in. The dockter asks why. The man said I want a second oppinion.

The secret service it training new agents due to great losses during the cold war. only 3 agents passed all of the grueling tasks. Then they all have one challenge left To kill the person in the building. They get a choice of the guns ( shotgun, ak47, p97, The first one goes in with the p97 he sees his wife on a chair he runs out crying "I'm not the one for the job". THe second one goes in with the ak47 he walks out "sorry". The third one goes in with the shotgun. Then one of the officials says to the others in horror those werent blanks. They hear banging and screming but no shots then a large thud...

the man walks out, the officials look in fear "I had to beat her do death with the chair." then suddenly one of them asks why didnt you use the gun. She always said she has nine lives.

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