Stewsburntmonkey surely has expressed a lot of views I sympathize with and agree on.
I find it funny so many people nearly trip over themselves getting in the debate. "We must save a life/child".
Fast forward 13 years later and once they've made their first post somewhere they hear "You are not welcome here/Welcome to the internet".
Ok, that was a ludicrous way (at best) to voice my opinion, but I think my point is valid.
I don't mean to sound like a cruel, sadistic bastard -but I guess on this topic I just am- but that embryo ...that has eyes, hands, and is developing..it may LOOK human, but till some point _after_ birth it doesn't gain all cognitive (and other) qualities related to "being human".
I'm not saying people should go around disposing of babies like they are throw-away cameras either. It just boggles my mind to see how people think about children -especially the oversensitivity to them. The reverence...the adoration.... I just don't get it, honestly.
People will say the nicest things about kids, but when said kid grows up, it's just another asshole for you to ignore on your morning train/bus/plane to work
, having children is not a universal right.
, wanting children to save your relationship/marriage is not the way to proceed.
, children aren't meant to "make something of your life because you failed to in your own time".
, children shouldn't be conceived "as the next step", to have a little pet, or as a status symbol (wow, they have a big house and
Just had to get that out of my system. Probably you're all thinking I'm extremely opposed to kids or heavily dislike them. Quite the contrary is true.
My mother has a daycare centre, and I've helped out quite a few occassions. I have a 5-year old nephew that I adore
My ex was pregnant of her ex-boyfriend when we met (only 2 weeks so she didn't know at the time). We were initially just friends, but one thing led to another and by the time we started a relationship she was 4 months pregnant. I was there every step of the way, I was the first to hold her son in my arms when he was born (prematurely). Because of his weak condition (and a small handicap) there was a real threat to his chances of survival, so I never left the hospital for the entire week mom & the newborn were there (much to the dismay of the hospital staff. "Sir, it's not that we don't allow it, but...it's unusual." The magic words were "I don't need a separate bed, I'll take the couch, but my insurance will certainly cover for my stay".Even got meals as of that point
(and the insurance never covered it
Before giving birth my ex had moved in with me more or less... was more with me than back at her parent's place ; after her son was born we just made it official. I'm cutting out a lot of detail, as I don't feel I should give out more, but fast forward 1.5 years and we broke up, she won't let me see the kid (even though he bears my
name...I'm not going to get into the debate of if that was clever or not to do, so soon.... It's what felt right, and we both wanted....at a certain point in time.), we're entangled in tribunal to have the "recognition" of the kid (if that's what it's called in English) undone (which means to have him "barred" of my name? - not my call, but after not having seen him for over a few months I stopped protesting. It won't help him to have two people around that can't get along and constantly argue.)
I had a very succesfull carreer at that point. No one I know that would argue that. I went from workaholic to family guy, nearly overnight, and never regretted it.
All I can say after taking care for a baby for such a long period -day and night- is that it's a lot harder than I ever imagined. It influences your life so much and so much can go wrong...Definitely not an easy task, which didn't feel rewarding at all for the very first weeks.
That may sound harsh - but the real fun was hearing the little one laugh for the first time and make various sounds, play with his feet, ... . That kind of thing.
To get back to the topic at hand. I guess there should really be limits to what can and cannot be done in terms of abortion. Abortion should be executed as soon as possible and for a few very valid reasons only:
- unplanned pregnancy
- parents are too young
- living condition of the parents would not accomodate new life easily (famine, war zones, ... . Just a few examples I came up with quickly.)
- severely handicapped child
And while thinking about what I said, I think I should elaborate on "kids are not a universal right".
No one should be able to decide whether you CAN and are ALLOWED to have a child (cfr. China). But do a better job at informing people of what to expect, what decisions and living conditions will impact the child (and its evolution) and these aspects. Stop making having kids look "cool" or be "the next step after living together with someone and/or marrying".
It's not. There's nothing wrong with living your life first, settling down and taking time to make sure things are stable, healthy and secure BEFORE inflicting life on another being
Alas, nothing's black and white. The father who's out working 70h per week might provide a great income for his family, but sadly, never be around for his kids. The father on wellfare support could be the most loving and attentive father a kid could wish for. However, if your husband has violent tendencies, has (heavily) (ab)used drugs the last few years or people around you are starving to death. Cut yourself and the kid a break : don't have one in the first place.
Its "goal" isn't to bring _you_ joy and happiness, or the love/respect you are missing in other relationships.
End of rant. Flame gently
@xander: seems like I can agree with all what you said, but you put it in a less inflamatory and better thought out way I think. (or rather, without ranting. Gah, been doing lots of that lately. Time for some holidays I fear.)
The real issue is when do you want people to be able to execute an abortion... for "ethical" reasons (not related to the fetus but more on the reasons the people do the abortion for...like I said, kids should not become throw-away cameras. )