Amusing stories from fellow wardens

(previously 'DEVELOPER') Private forum for registered community members. To register, please visit www.prison-architect.com/register.

Moderator: NBJeff

Cosmitz
level0
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2006 2:35 am

Amusing stories from fellow wardens

Postby Cosmitz » Sun Jan 13, 2013 2:37 am

Was a bit surprised to see no 'funny stories' thread, so i'll start it up.


Finally got my first prison started up, but the first day the prisoners missed the dropoff due to the delivery being moved. Second day, just one prisoner arrived, with the rest 14 refreshed to arrive after the 8AM count. So a guard goes to pick him up, and he dings all the metal detectors all the way to his cell. I said sure, he's cuffed. First thing he does after the cuffs come off is to go to the shower.. holding.. cafeteria thing i made. He dings the metal detectors again, undresses to shower and bam.. guard in his face searching him. Apparently he had some contraband, a lighter from the sprite, that he decided to have in the shower, the frist thing he did after he got imprisoned. Lockdown for him.

I think i'm ready for the other 14 prisoners. :p
You say i can't hack Goverment files? Well then how do i know you used to talk to your girlfriend over the phone by calling her "my little mushroom" in the 3rd grade?!
GOVERMENT TAPS FTW!
mikepardon
level1
level1
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Dec 25, 2012 8:42 pm
Location: United Kingdom

Postby mikepardon » Sun Jan 13, 2013 3:25 am

I'm sure many others did it, but I designed my prison to perfection. Nice hallway, epic offices, heck of a lot of guards...

What happened? Forgot to add restrictions on my doors and the prisons all walked straight out! Doh!
User avatar
christopher1006
level5
level5
Posts: 1019
Joined: Sat Jul 28, 2012 9:01 pm

Postby christopher1006 » Sun Jan 13, 2013 5:02 am

I had finnaly figured out my perfect size for cell blocks and I was laying one after the other in smooth order. The problem is that I don't have a fence to surround the cell blocks themself, I make fences comes out the sides for maximum room. I wasn't paying attention on my second to last block and when I was redoing the fences so prisoners could get through I accidentally opened a whole in the fence and every last one of my 200 prisoners made a run for it. 24 got through before I managed to mass the gaurds in a blob around the fence while the workers fixed the gap but one prisoner took the keys off a gaurd that I hadn't noticed had been knocked uncouncious and ran out the front gate :roll:
Yes, that is a penguin with rabies. Deal with it.
Guvnor
level2
level2
Posts: 80
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 5:26 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Postby Guvnor » Sun Jan 13, 2013 6:32 pm

christopher1006 wrote:I was redoing the fences so prisoners could get through I accidentally opened a whole in the fence and every last one of my 200 prisoners made a run for it.


I did the same thing once. Was fixing some fencing and had to remove a section because the workers actually fenced themselves off from the project. It took just seconds for prisoners to start streaming through the hole I had made. I lost 60 to 70 prisoners out of a 110 before closing the hole. :shock:
Azarath
level2
level2
Posts: 183
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2005 12:40 am
Location: Doncaster
Contact:

Postby Azarath » Sun Jan 13, 2013 6:49 pm

My first prison I made, I had a holding cell, a few cells, kitchen, canteen, shower, yard, fully staffed, so very impressed with my new penitentiary that when my first 8 prisoners arrived, as soon as they were put in their cells they all fled random directions out of the prison with no outer walls :<
HerrJoebob
level4
level4
Posts: 750
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2012 8:57 pm
Location: Oregon

Postby HerrJoebob » Sun Jan 13, 2013 11:57 pm

I've done a lot of prisons but I just tried my first one without hacking in extra money (but no continuous intake)... It went well for a couple days, got everything built indoors and set up. 24 prisoners show up, and I have 2 cooks and no cash to hire more and my layout was not optimal enough to allow the cooks to feed everybody that day. This caused the first inmates to be very hungry and started a spiral that played out every single day:

11PM-6AM Scream about food, keeping everybody awake
7AM Yard time - go scream about food
8AM New prisoners - guard coverage gets a little thin
9AM Fights begin; groups of 5-6 attempt escape every hour. For added hilarity, the exit is near the kitchen so the cooks are too scared to prepare a meal
by Noon there's 20-30 injuries, 10-15 guys waiting for solitary and 8-10 locked down
12-2PM Mealtime! The guys that were actually hungry are in solitary or waiting to be escorted, though. Most of the guys who do manage to get to the canteen are taken to the infirmary instead so they miss it too. On top of that there's generally not enough food for the rest because of the scared cooks.
2-7PM More complaining
7PM Some of the guys who are starving now decide to attempt escape again
...etc

This went on for about 3 weeks before it came under control. During this time there were 52 escapes. Some of these geniuses escaped from the canteen where they were standing next to a serving table filled with food. :P
User avatar
Setari
level2
level2
Posts: 88
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 2:39 am

Postby Setari » Wed Jan 16, 2013 5:40 am

I lol'd at your post Herr, and everyone else's too. Unfortunately I don't have any stories :[ nothing that I can think of anyway...
HerrJoebob
level4
level4
Posts: 750
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2012 8:57 pm
Location: Oregon

Postby HerrJoebob » Wed Jan 16, 2013 6:13 am

Setari wrote:I lol'd at your post Herr, and everyone else's too.


Thanks, I admit I enjoyed it except for the guards blithely watching inmates shouldering past them to escape. Hope they make the guards more pro in the next update. :)
Diceman
level1
level1
Posts: 28
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2013 7:32 pm

Postby Diceman » Wed Jan 16, 2013 6:42 am

I had a nice, stable prison of about 40 prisoners, in one big cellblock with a big canteen and shower room in it. Never any fighting problems. I decided to expand and build about 30 more cells in an adjacent building, but did not add a shower and canteen there. On the first day at shower time, both cell blocks piled into the one shower room and a bloodbath kicked off - Garden rakes, knives, keys, and even guard batons. When all was said and done, 4 were dead, 11 were unconscious, and just about every other prisoner was wounded in some way - It took 8 guards to end the violence and one of them nearly died from a stab wound. LOL!
User avatar
Setari
level2
level2
Posts: 88
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 2:39 am

Postby Setari » Wed Jan 16, 2013 8:31 am

Diceman wrote:I had a nice, stable prison of about 40 prisoners, in one big cellblock with a big canteen and shower room in it. Never any fighting problems. I decided to expand and build about 30 more cells in an adjacent building, but did not add a shower and canteen there. On the first day at shower time, both cell blocks piled into the one shower room and a bloodbath kicked off - Garden rakes, knives, keys, and even guard batons. When all was said and done, 4 were dead, 11 were unconscious, and just about every other prisoner was wounded in some way - It took 8 guards to end the violence and one of them nearly died from a stab wound. LOL!


Holy crap dude. I had a prison save where everyone was injured [about maybe 30 people including ALL staff were injured/unconscious] and I couldn't figure out how to heal them so I started a new file. The inmates seemed really docile after that though for sure, before I started the new save. I think 2 people maybe died.
User avatar
111none
level4
level4
Posts: 970
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2012 3:32 am
Location: Wangjing, Beijing, Peoples Republic of China

Postby 111none » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:27 am

Setari wrote:
Diceman wrote:I had a nice, stable prison of about 40 prisoners, in one big cellblock with a big canteen and shower room in it. Never any fighting problems. I decided to expand and build about 30 more cells in an adjacent building, but did not add a shower and canteen there. On the first day at shower time, both cell blocks piled into the one shower room and a bloodbath kicked off - Garden rakes, knives, keys, and even guard batons. When all was said and done, 4 were dead, 11 were unconscious, and just about every other prisoner was wounded in some way - It took 8 guards to end the violence and one of them nearly died from a stab wound. LOL!


Holy crap dude. I had a prison save where everyone was injured [about maybe 30 people including ALL staff were injured/unconscious] and I couldn't figure out how to heal them so I started a new file. The inmates seemed really docile after that though for sure, before I started the new save. I think 2 people maybe died.

Lol, i had a 190 prisoner riot.....
With the sincerest regards,
111none

Return to “Community Members”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests