"Long ago a computer scientist called Dr Sepulveda created a beautiful digital world existing entirely within a computer network of his own invention. This world was called Darwinia and it was inhabited by a peaceful, law-abiding digital life-form called the Darwinians.
As the years wore on however the Darwinians became ever more aggressive and autonomous. They divided into factions, squabbling over Darwinia's limited natural resources. Tribes began to roam the fractal voids hell bent on each others destruction, drunk on power and unswerving in the pursuit of world supremacy.
Far and wide, they became known as the Multiwinians..."
Welcome to Multiwinia: Survival of the Flattest — the ultimate retro-arcade multiplayer experience! Choose from a selection of six spectacular action-packed game modes, set in one of the most beautiful game environs you will ever set eyes on.
Challenge your opponent to a game of stick-man slaughter, and watch digital-war unfold, as your Multiwinian army struggles to complete a chosen task faster and better than your rival's. It's fast, it's furious, and only the flattest will survive!
This vague description from Steam doesn't make it sound like a rts at all- you can't really tell what kind of game it is at all from reading this. The last two lines that actually get to talking about the game are mostly just strings of lame phrases like 'stick man slaughter', 'digital war', 'fast furious flattest', 'retro arcade'. It makes the game sound retarded and silly. The only information about the game you get is that it has game modes, game environments that look good, and the game involves "completing a chosen task" (yawn).
In my opinion you emphasize the corny (irrelevant) story and phrases too often and don't describe the awesome highly unique gameplay enough (you hardly do it at all).
Multiwinia Download Features
* Spectacular attention-grabbing graphics with iconic retro-arcade look-and-feel
* 49 unique maps over 6 action-packed game modes guaranteed to test every one of your gaming skills to the limits!
* Supports multiplayer up to 4-player and lobby chat
* Advanced AI for singleplayer gaming
* Exciting fast-paced action rewards quick thinking and strategic know-how
* Random crate power-ups keep action fresh and exciting
* Easy to pick up and play! Jump straight in with easy-to-use control system and advanced tutorial
* Appeals to both casual and hardcore gamers
* State-of-the-art retro soundscape
* Create and share your own unique maps with map editor
The Direct2Drive one is just as irrelevant saying the game has stuff like 'retro-arcade looks' (whatever that means to someone), action, game modes, chat, 4 player multiplayer, ai, strategy, random powerups, tutorial, good controls, appeal, retro sound (again, what the hell does that even mean?), map editor. If that list doesn't sound incredibly generic and boring to you then I don't know what will.
Why even put random stuff like crates in a strategy game? RTS games are about skill not flipping a coin to see who wins.