It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

The place to hang out and talk about totally anything general.
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Postby Pox » Sat Jan 12, 2008 9:54 am

> kill Tom Cruise with bare hands
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Postby Xocrates » Sat Jan 12, 2008 12:37 pm

As you charge Tom Cruise with your bare hands, he mutates into an extradimensional beast the size of the empire state building and looking a bit like an unholy cross between a bicycle and an octupus.

You're going to need more hands.

>
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Postby Pox » Sat Jan 12, 2008 12:39 pm

> go east
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Postby bert_the_turtle » Sat Jan 12, 2008 12:58 pm

Opening the door to the east, you find a room that is crammed to the top with 1.254.631 feet from various species, mostly human. Some have still shoes on them. Well, that could have almost been useful. Oh, and of course, the path east is blocked until you get rid of the feet.

You're still in the room with the ex-Tom-Cruise giant monster, the late maimed John Travolta, John Travolta's stomach acid, no light and thus an ever increasing probability of getting eaten by a grue if the stomach acid does not get you first, the John Travolta Clone with Bad Dreadlocks.

The John Travolta Clone with Bad Dreadlocks is silently considering to bugger off because it appears to him the narrator has no clue what he is supposed to do with him.

You have:
A lamp (no batteries, good job on destroying the only one you had)
A cursed lodestone
No hope of survival

>
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Postby Rkiver » Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:06 pm

>Use: No hope of survival on ex-Tom Cruise Monster.
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Postby Pox » Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:23 pm

The ex-Tom Cruise monster observes the no hope of survival and thwarts the attack with a loud grumbling noise.

The ex-Tom Cruise monster begins spewing scientologist rubbish at you!

It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue, dissolved by John Travolta's Stomach Acid and/or converted to scientology, in no particular order.

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Postby Rkiver » Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:27 pm

>use: John Travolta Clone with Dreadlocks on ex-Tom Cruise Monster.
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Postby Pox » Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:33 pm

The John Travolta Clone with Bad Dreadlocks approaches the ex-Tom Cruise monster, then hesitates, unsure of what to do.

Eventually it turns to you and says:

"How do you want to use the John Travolta Clone with Bad Dreadlocks on the ex-Tom Cruise Monster?"

>
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Postby Rkiver » Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:40 pm

>use: Use the bad John Travolta Clone with Dreadlocks to distract ex-Tom Cruise monster by talking about Scientology.
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Postby bert_the_turtle » Sat Jan 12, 2008 2:00 pm

The ex-Tom Cruise giant extradimensional monster of doom and the John Travolta Clone with Bad Dreadlocks engage in a lengthy conversation about one of the finer points of scientological transcendental philosophy. You are smart enough not to listen to it and have some turns free to deal with the grue and stomach acid problems alone, which you probably need. The stomach acid has just finished eating through your soles and is starting to nibble at your feet. It tingles a bit.

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Postby Mas Tnega » Sat Jan 12, 2008 2:30 pm

> Fill lamp with stomach acid.
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Postby bert_the_turtle » Sat Jan 12, 2008 3:12 pm

Hmm, that seems to work. The contacts that connect to the batteries now act as improvised electrodes, providing enough power to make the lamp glow softly. Not enough light to read by, but enough to keep the grues away for a while. You don't think the lamp will stand to the corroding force of the acid infinitely.

The two scientologists are still engaged in vivid conversation.

The remaining stomach acid continues to nibble at your feet. It stings.

There is an exit to the east blocked by a pile of feet. You haven't had time to check the other directions yet, and the lamp is not bright enough to shine to the distant walls.

You have:
A Lamp (filled with acid)
A cursed lodestone

>
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Postby Rkiver » Sat Jan 12, 2008 3:30 pm

>use pile of feet on pool of stomach acid.
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Postby bert_the_turtle » Sat Jan 12, 2008 3:41 pm

The acid greedily devours lots of feet from the pile, leaving enough feet for other interesting applications. The acid is completely used up, but the whole process takes a while, during which the acid does painful damage to your feet. Maybe it would have been smarter to look for protection for them first. Anyway, the acid is gone.

The conversation between the two scientologists is getting more agitated.

Your feet hurt a lot and, the wuss that you are, you are unable to walk. Take some lessons from Bruce Willis next time before you go adventuring.

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Postby Mas Tnega » Sat Jan 12, 2008 4:39 pm

> Search pile of feet for pair of replacement feet.

(You were so railroading that one)

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