Brilliant!

I can only assume that you suffer from great insecurities about your self-worth. Let me reassure you; you are right to feel that way. You are worthless. Do the honourable thing; go hang yourself. BTW: it's "god damned cell", i.e., damned by god. Use past tense, not present tense of "...

This suggestion has to be bumped up hard. First of, no way janitors should be allowed to stroll around, cleaning the solitary cells when I got prisoners in there for punishment. Good scheduling could prevent contraband too. Having your janitors cleaning cells while the prisoners are there, and boom ...

Couldn't agree more. Having cooks running through the main gate, especially just when new prisoners arriving doesn't sound very realistic to me. Actually I'm not sure if its cooks or guards that bring the food into a real prison.