Let's play a game!

[111none]

Let's play a simple simple text game, this is how it goes.

Person X makes a wish
Person Y makes that wish come true, however they make the wish relevantly useless.
ie; Person X: "I wish I had a million dollars."
Person Y: "Granted, but it is given in pennies, I wish [….]
Only Rule! you must skip to posts before replying. So if X goes, X can only post after two other people post.

I shall start this off:
I wish EA actually made Legit games.

[xander]

EA buys the rights to make games based on a graphic novel series about the "Legit" fraud-busting organization. Legit and Legit 2: Electric Bugaloo make EA billions, and Legit III: The Fraudening! is expected to come out later this year.

I wish that I had a proof of the Riemann Hypothesis.

xander

[111none]

EA buys the rights to make games based on a graphic novel series about the "Legit" fraud-busting organization. Legit and Legit 2: Electric Bugaloo make EA billions, and Legit III: The Fraudening! is expected to come out later this year.

I wish that I had a proof of the Riemann Hypothesis.

xander

Damn man, should have seen that coming Xander

[Colytic]

I wish that I had a proof of the Riemann Hypothesis.

xander

You find it, but then π IS SHOWN TO BE EXACTLY THREE and the world of mathematics has to take a long hard look at itself.

I wish teleportation was finally invented. No more car journeys!

Colytic

[NeatNit]

I wish teleportation was finally invented. No more car journeys!

Colytic

Teleportation is invented and becomes cheap and common, being used by everyone around the world. Then there is a server failure, causing millions to simply disappear forever - including you.

I wish I actually had one day all to myself for once.

[Xocrates]

I wish I actually had one day all to myself for once.

The entire population on the planet and all its creatures vanish one day except for you. Additionally this same event causes the Earth to become tidal locked.

I wish I would never have to make another written test in my life and still be able to graduate from my degree of choice.

[xander]

...then π IS SHOWN TO BE EXACTLY THREE...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

xander

[NeatNit]

xander's post counts!

I wish I would never have to make another written test in my life and still be able to graduate from my degree of choice.

Granted. Everyone subsequently graduates from all possible degrees, making none of them worth a thing.

I wish for telekinesis.

[xander]

I wish for telekinesis.

You wake up one morning feeling... strange. Your brain is humming with strange sensations, and your fingers tingle with power. Reach to remove your blankets so that you can get out of bed and start your day. However, before your hand can move, the blankets throw themselves back from the bed.

"Cool! I can move objects with my mind!" is what you would have thought, were you still breathing.

Unfortunately, moving objects without touching them requires quite a lot of energy. To generate this energy, some of the grey goo between your ears was consumed as part of a matter-to-energy reaction, directly converting neurons in to energy. This might have been survivable, though harmful, but the reaction itself was somewhat, shall we say, exothermic. Before you had a chance to marvel at your newfound powers, your boiling brains dribbled out your nose.

I wish that there were something good on television.

xander

[111none]

I wish for telekinesis.

You wake up one morning feeling... strange. Your brain is humming with strange sensations, and your fingers tingle with power. Reach to remove your blankets so that you can get out of bed and start your day. However, before your hand can move, the blankets throw themselves back from the bed.

"Cool! I can move objects with my mind!" is what you would have thought, were you still breathing.

Unfortunately, moving objects without touching them requires quite a lot of energy. To generate this energy, some of the grey goo between your ears was consumed as part of a matter-to-energy reaction, directly converting neurons in to energy. This might have been survivable, though harmful, but the reaction itself was somewhat, shall we say, exothermic. Before you had a chance to marvel at your newfound powers, your boiling brains dribbled out your nose.

I wish that there were something good on television.

xander

You were waiting for your favorite show; but then lighting struck you Satellite dish and fried your TV system.

[111none]

I wish for telekinesis.

You wake up one morning feeling... strange. Your brain is humming with strange sensations, and your fingers tingle with power. Reach to remove your blankets so that you can get out of bed and start your day. However, before your hand can move, the blankets throw themselves back from the bed.

"Cool! I can move objects with my mind!" is what you would have thought, were you still breathing.

Unfortunately, moving objects without touching them requires quite a lot of energy. To generate this energy, some of the grey goo between your ears was consumed as part of a matter-to-energy reaction, directly converting neurons in to energy. This might have been survivable, though harmful, but the reaction itself was somewhat, shall we say, exothermic. Before you had a chance to marvel at your newfound powers, your boiling brains dribbled out your nose.

I wish that there were something good on television.

xander

You were waiting for your favorite show; but then lighting struck you Satellite dish and fried your TV system.
I wish I could own a F-22 and fly it Legitly.

[Xocrates]

Granted. Everyone subsequently graduates from all possible degrees, making none of them worth a thing.

Pretty sure this would be an improvement over the current system.

I wish I could own a F-22 and fly it Legitly.

A law passes allowing you to do just that, and after accumulating a debt of several million dollars in order to buy one you take it for an initial spin, however you soon realize you never learned to fly the thing and crash it into a busy street killing dozens.
You eject in time, but will now spend life in prison as one of the most hated criminals of our time.

I wish my wishes came true according to my intentions as opposed to just my words.

[Laika]

I wish my wishes came true according to my intentions as opposed to just my words.

Trying to distill you true intentions from superficial, you get stuck up at the Ivory Tower solving philosophical conundrums.

I wish full communism for christmas.

[Metroidude]

I wish full communism for christmas.

Granted. Full communism happens in a random third-world country that nobody's heard of.

I wish the new JJ Abrams Star Trek movies were original, instead of just a remake of the original series characters.

[111none]

I wish full communism for christmas.

Granted. Full communism happens in a random third-world country that nobody's heard of.

I wish the new JJ Abrams Star Trek movies were original, instead of just a remake of the original series characters.

They are, but they are cartoon versions of tom and Jerry.
I wish I had the right to kill.

-----Sidenote------
For all you wondering, I got anger issues, and getting kicked off an overbooked flight just makes me want to strangle everyone. Xander what's the best way to beat up a classmate without being suspended? (Or I shall just have to give him a concussion again)