Adolf Hitler

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fireX4
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Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2016 6:55 pm

Adolf Hitler

Postby fireX4 » Fri Jan 01, 2016 6:59 pm

Played a 5-player game a couple of hours ago which I'd like to share.

We played a 5-player game, with standard rules and defection allowed. One of the players, a "Tuna Helper", had just been my opponent (and victor) in another nice little game of global thermonuclear war, so as we were already introduced, we decided to ally. "Moloch" in the form of South America wanted to join us (I was NA, Tuna was Asia), and we let him, so the two others, "Adolf Hitler" and "bet ct all" naturally allied. They played Russia and Europe, so that was a given already.

For some reason, they didn't seem to like being only two vs 3 (I can't see why. I love such odds. Gives me more points to collect, and fewer people to share with). As they complained a little, me and SA noted that most of Russias fleet was in the pacific, and with most of both our fleets resting in the atlantic, we decided to go in full force. And Adolf was no longer a maritime power...

As we hit Defcon 1, I was busy coordinating a joint strike from 3 of my subs and most of my bombers, as well as some of my silos (5 nukes each from 4 of them), aiming at the largest population centers of both Europe and Russia. The enemies ganged up on Tuna (not a surprising move, really, seeing as Asia is on the same piece of land). He got pretty devastated, but he managed to start his retaliation, which I surprisingly noted afterwards totalled as many kills as me and SA combined. He got to the juicy russian cities before my silo nukes arrived.

While this happened, our third ally also pounded on Europe. For some reason, I noticed afterwards, he targeted enemy defenses, which I can't say I mind, but that also meant that he did not get much points, as our first wave was pretty much it. At 01:10 what was left of EU and Russia was pretty much rubble, with a few cities still standing (about 30 millions in each region). 20 minutes later, when the last of the waves nukes had landed, it was half that.

By that point, I was pretty certain that I had won. Both SA and I had all of our population left, I had 6subs off our west coast, and 3 off his east coast, in case he decided to change his allegiance, approximately the same number of nukes left, and a points-lead of 80 points. Tuna was only 30 points behind me, but with most of his 50 nukes being bombers, I believe I would have seen a backstab coming, so I did not worry. He still had subs, though, so he could have pulled something off (a mock-sidesweep through Africa just continuing in a straight line towards SA, combined with subs against me, for example). But he didn't, and I asked my allies what they wanted to do: To leave the alliance and battle it out, or see if we could manage to get the population of Adolf down to the "impossible" 0.0millions. Adolf had been throwing around a lot of stupid trolling about us being shit players and Tuna being a loser and the worst of his alliance (which was clearly untrue, as he was on second place by score, despite having taken 60million losses. In fact, I'd say he was the best in our alliance), how stupid and nerdy we were and stuff like that, so I really wanted to just crush him (not that I'd expect anything smart coming out of someone calling themselves Adolf Hitler...).

My allies agreed, unsurprisingly, and we launched everything we could at them, in in small waves, to make sure that we got rid of everything. By the time we were done, all cities in Europe were at 0.0, though we did not manage to get the total population down to below 0.4. Russia had 1.8millions left at this time.

And then, "disaster" struck and I got "owned" by Hitler. He had kept his subs in reserve, and managed to kill of (*gasp*) 30 million of my dear west coasters, leaving me only 150 points in front of him (and I had just shared 2 enemies with 2 allies, so I had only 114 points), and him with less kills than even Moloch, who had almost exclusively hit defenses.

The final tally had my alliance winning on all accounts. I had the best score, Tuna had the most kills, and was in my opinion the one who played the best (getting almost as many points as me with all his silos destroyed before he had the time to launch), and Moloch had not taken a single civilian loss.

I feel a bit bad for bet ct all. He wasn't that much of an annoyance, though he did at one point call me assface for using realtime. He must have played pretty well as well, as he racked up some 70million kills against Asia before our salvo of doom hit him. I honestly think he would have done much better if he had left Adolf and played by himself after that.

Lessons learned:
-Don't play with people calling themselves Adolf Hitler - they are in fact stupid asses
-Some people will keep their alliances just for the sake of seeing a well-coordinated all-out attack, even if they have no chance to win
-Tuna and Moloch are nice people.

Lessons hopefully taught away:
-Remember to attack cities as well as defenses - cities give you points (though I would not mind if you did the same next time we're allied, Moloch :D )
-Don't focus on a single enemy when on the underdog side of a 2vs3
-Don't ally with someone calling themselves Adolf Hitler
-Don't call yourself Adolf Hitler. It is stupid and will lead to your empire becoming radioactive rubble. Just like with the historical Hitler (minus the radioactivity).

It wasn't really that much of a fun and challenging game (the game I played just before it, when Tuna won, was much more so), but it was damn satisfying! A victory for serious players everywhere!

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